Ecclesiastes 3 (a book of hebrew)

Ecclesiastes 3 (a book of hebrew)

¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

I've always loved this passage - it was on a poster when I worked at the Jewish Community Center when I was just a teenager - it has always made me smile and feel well.

xoxox

Quote

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  ~Elizabeth Stone

This is the absolute truth.

This quote made me tear up today. 

xoxo

Bad Dog

I hate fucking up at work.  I HATE it, and I always feel like this guy, just a bad dog.  "BAD DOG, MEGAN!" And when I do make what I think is a huge mistake, I always fall on my sword and admit it, I don't try to pass it off as someone else's problem, I suck it up and hope for the best (read: sit at my desk with my fingers crossed chanting "please don't fire me" over and over) 

I can't ever tell if its as bad as I think it is or if it's me just assuming the worst and like people have finally figured out that I really don't know what I'm doing.  I don't mess up much but when I do (like this morning) I turn bright red, stammer about fixing it, repeat things and say "I"m on it, I'll figure out what happened"  To which I go back to my desk with a stomach ache, feeling like I might hurl.  When I do  figure out the issue/problem/screwup and it really is me, I turn red and start sweating again.  So I fess up to what happened, cc my boss so he can throw himself in front of the firing squad (will he?) I fix the mistake and now I sit and wait and wait......

When I get an email and I freeze and don't want to look at who it's from. When someone walks through the door right outside my cube, I picture HR and my boss.  If that happens I think I'll skip the chit chat about how much I suck and I'll just start packing. 

Yes, I'm being dramatic and likely won't be asked to leave because as you can see from my picture, I'm not that guilty.  I made an error, but look at what character I have! I admitted it, said I'm sorry, I fixed it and I am obsessing about it because I care about doing good work, that should count for something, no?  I think so. 

And its not like I cursed a customer or a VP and I didn't set anything on fire. 

I just forgot to read closely and almost sent something out that wasn't clearly reviewed. 

I hate it when people are mad at me. I hate it. Bad dog.

xoxo

I love me some coffee.  But only good coffee, expensive coffee.  Funny, I'm like that with beer too.  Wine? Not so much, don't get me wrong,  I'd like to buy the expensive stuff all the time but I can't really afford that so yeah, I've been known to drink it out of a box.  Right, like you haven't. 
Coffee is one of those things in life that just makes me happy, the smell, the bitter taste, the shape of the mugs with the steaming goodness coming from it.  Some weekend mornings, I feel like a Folgers commercial.  I know we've discussed what a gem I can be in the morning, so George will brew up coffee for me every single morning and sometimes (probably when I've actuall slept) I'll awake to the smell in the house, smile and stretch like a cat.  It's comforting and wakes me up and with baseball season upon us, you can just bet that Starbucks is going to be getting too much of my money.  Nothing gets me through a cold and soggy baseball game like a venti coffee. 

And then there is traveling......anywhere but the west coast, you really have to look for a Starbucks.  Here, they are on two sides of every strip mall, in every grocery store, they pop up everywhere.  Travel to the east coast and they think Dunkin Donuts coffee is the shit.  I am SERIOUS, like that's where they tell you to go.  It's exhausting and gross, DD coffee sucks, fyi.  Even in Vegas, though I hear its getting better, I had to hunt around for a starbucks, ask drunk people (yes at 8am) where to go and the only one was in the NYNY, Really?  I suppose if you spend enough time anywhere, you'd find a decent cuppa joe and I'd really like to try the Dean and Deluca (thank you Felicity) chain in New York, but I bet it'd be hard to beat Starbucks and Stumptown.

Good to the last drop.

xoxo

George's dad came over last night and was asking about Jake and his little family.  It was so cool to sit and talk with Greg about watching your kids grow into adults and how amazing it can be, how it makes you sometimes just stop dead in your tracks.  I think to myself, how did this happen? Where did the years go?  Was it really that fast? Yes, it goes very fast.  It's funny to sit and watch your child and see so many of your own traits and mannerisms within this adult.

We went to Jake and Katie's house for dinner on Sunday night after we got to babysit Kai.  When Jake got home he made us dinner, I was so proud of Jake's hospitality, what a gracious host he's become and frankly a great cook as well.  He's polite and mature and takes good care of his love and his child.  I couldn't be more proud of him if I tried. 

The adult relationship that we have now is something that I will forever treasure, it's one of the most open and honest relationships I've known. I used to think that it would be hard to stay close as he became an adult man, I've watched some men grow away from their mothers or parents as they have families of their own, but as Jake and I grow, we still have a good strong bond and I hope it stays that way.

I look forward to seeing what Cole will be like as an adult as well.  (If I can make it through another teenager)

Kids.  One of the coolest things I've ever accomplished.

xoxo